DEALING WITH CONFLICT

Conflict is a controversy, disagreement or opposition between people. “If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” (Mark 3:24-25) NIV With these words, Jesus described the dangers of conflict. If conflict is left unchecked and unresolved, it can tear apart an organization, a family, friends, a team, and a church. The Bible is full of incidents of conflict. It can be found from Genesis to Revelation. The scope of conflict covers a time from “before” the foundation of the world until the “end” of this age. If we will study the various examples of conflict in Scripture, we can understand much about human nature, about how God’s laws and principles work and about the consequences of behavior, which contradicts God’s plan. Conflict is always constantly being waged between Satan and God’s people. Read: (Ephesians 6:13) KJV

Lies and deception are the basis of many conflicts in the Bible. Conflict was first introduced to us in the Bible in the third chapter of Genesis. The serpent was a creature used by Satan to tempt Eve. Satan’s goal was “dominion” over everything, including God. God’s goal was to create a race of people with whom He could have fellowship. Satan used lies to convince Eve to eat the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge. The result was sinful behavior by Adam and Eve. The” blame game” started that day. Notice the hypocrisy of Adam and Eve when they shifted the blame for their own sin. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. (Genesis 3:12-13) KJV This conflict introduced by Satan drove a wedge in the relationship between humans and God.

The reason conflict resolutions are so difficult is that we are hesitant to place ourselves in uncomfortable situations. First, we must be “willing” to resolve the conflict. We cannot know peace with God unless we are at peace with one another, and we cannot know peace with others unless we are at peace with God. Sometimes we are unwilling to humble ourselves and admit that we may be wrong or do what it takes to resolve conflicts. The longer we wait to resolve conflict, the harder our hearts can get. We should never let days, weeks, months, or even years pass by without resolving conflict. If we do, we will always be the loser.

Honesty is the best way to resolve any conflict.  We must stop the “blame game” and humbly acknowledge our own faults by being honest. It is hypocritical to blame someone else for the whole problem when we can’t see our own faults. We need to take action quickly. As time passes, the facts get distorted. It isn’t long before we can’t remember what we did or said. If we believe that someone has done anything to hurt us or harm us we are to go to that person in “private” and talk to him or her about it. We should never allow resentments to ripen into a secret malice or wound, which is the most dangerous inwardly. Jesus never said we are to gossip about our conflicts with others. He did say, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his faults, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” (Matthew 18:15) NIV The best time to resolve a conflict is today!